The Many Forms of Cookies
by MssChris822
Summary: Did you ever have one of those moments in your childhood when you thought your parents only tolerated you because they had to? Well, it’s one thing to think that, it’s another to actually have it proven. One-shot set during Prince Charmed Chris’ POV.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Charmed or any of the characters mentioned in this story.

**Summary: ** Did you ever have one of those moments in your childhood when you thought your parents only tolerated you because they had to? Well, it's one thing to think that, it's another to actually have it proven. One-shot set during Prince Charmed Chris' POV

**The Many Forms of Cookies**

When I was little and I got in trouble I used to think that my parents hated me, that the only reason they tolerated me was because they had to. I wondered sometimes what they would do if I wasn't family. Would they have kicked me out of the house a long time ago because they hated me? Would they even talk to me at all? I thought that they loved to make me suffer and it was their life purpose to ruin my life. But I would soon come to terms with the fact that I was being melodramatic when my mother would sneak a plate of cookies and milk up to my room after dinner and tell me that she loved me no matter what I did. She'd tell me that it was our little secret and not to tell my father that she had gone soft on me. He never found out as far as I know and if he did he didn't care.

It was a common occurrence in my house, considering the amount of trouble I would usually get in. Looking back I wonder if that was the reason why my father didn't come back after my mother died. Maybe if I hadn't been such a nuisance, if I would have behaved more he would have stayed. When he left he told me that he didn't have a choice, but I have often found myself wondering if that was true or not. After all he had broken the rules before. I'm living proof of that. Maybe he never did love me after all.

My grandfather would tell me that wasn't the case. He had talked to my father before he left to become a full time elder. He told me that he was devastated. He felt like everything in his life was being taken away from him, first his wife and now his sons. My grandfather knew how hard it was to have to leave your children because of something you couldn't control. He had done so with my mother and aunts when they were only small girls and he spent most of his life regretting it. He always made me feel better after we talked and I thought he was right. My father did love me. Both of my parents did and nothing would ever change that. I lived with that thought in my head for eight years, until now.

Now I'm sitting on the Golden Gate Bridge feeling like a scolded child once again, waiting for some cookies and milk but they are never going to come. I have finally been presented with the answers to the questions I asked myself when I was younger. I wasn't family, at least not yet, and my parents did hate me. My own mother told me she never wanted to see me again. Words can not describe the pain that her icy glare caused me. Part of me would have expected that from Leo. I came to terms with the fact that he hated me a long time ago. If I had to ball park the time when I did I would have to say it was around the time when he threw me into the curio cabinet.

But mom…she was the one who said she would love me no matter what. I was her peanut, her baby. She loved Wyatt just as much as she loved me but we were always much closer than they were. I was a mama's boy. I used to be embarrassed by that fact. Wyatt would constantly make fun of me. But now it's the opposite. I'm glad I got to know my mother while I had the chance. I'm happy that I spent as much time as I did with her. It helped me remember her after she died. But slowly things started to fade away as the years went by, such as the sound of her voice, the smell of her perfume, and the taste of her cookies.

Seeing her again for the first time was the hardest thing I ever had to do. The moment she walked in the attic door my heart stopped and didn't start beating again until she addressed me with a cold "Who are you?" I remember that moment like it was yesterday. She looked so beautiful, her hair was pulled up in a bun and she was wearing a white and blue sundress. No matter how cruel she treated me that day the only thing I could think of was how much I loved her. It wasn't until later that night when I realized that she wasn't my mother, not yet. I needed help, I was stressed, and way in over my head. I went to her room to find her and was greeted by some cold words and a couple of deadly looks. I don't know what I was expecting. She didn't know who I was. She wasn't going to hug me and tell me everything was going to be alright.

And everything did turn out alright, in that aspect. The titans were defeated, just like I knew they would be. But in the process I gained a father who didn't trust me and a mother who hated me for being the quote unquote cause of my parents break up. Which I know for a fact isn't true because they were separated after that event in my future too. They eventually got back together and had me. What kind of person wants their parents to split up? Of course I couldn't tell her that, however.

I thought that as the year went on we were getting better though. Leo was helping me instead of following me around everywhere and Mom…well she started to be like Mom again, so much so that I came dangerously close to letting my secret slip once.

It was after Bianca died. I was sitting in the attic staring at the table that she was thrown on. It was still in one piece just setting there. I stared at it for what felt like hours picturing her lying there on the ground with the leg through her stomach and without thinking I sent the table flying into the wall, breaking it into pieces. It was at that moment when Mom decided to walk in with a plate of cookies.

_**Flashback General POV**_

"_Chris!" Piper screamed as she ran up to him. "What are you doing!" _

_Chris' head snapped toward her and she saw the tears spilling over his eyelids. It was the first moment in all the time he had been here that she had seen him display any emotion. Her heart broke in two at the sight of her normally emotionless whitelighter sobbing. She knew that he was suffering but she didn't know that it was this bad. She sat down on the couch next to him and he held his head in his hands. She set the plate of cookies on the cushion next to her and started to rub his back. To her surprise he didn't finch away he just acted as if it was the most natural thing in the world. _

"_Hey, it's okay, Chris." She started consoling him. He snapped his head up at her. _

"_How can you say that? You have on idea what I went through there. Don't hand me any of this sympathy crap. Because you have no idea what it's like for me everyday. You don't know what I have to live with. My fiancé just died. And there was nothing I could do to save her. She just lied there on the floor helpless and all I could do was stare at her. " Piper's gaze fell to the floor. He was right. She didn't have the right to sympathize with him. She had no idea what his life must have been like. _

"_Well, maybe when you save the future you'll save her too." Piper offered. Chris looked up at her once again feeling inferior. _

"If _I can save the future." He said. _

"_No, when." Chris looked up at Pier with surprise. "You can do this Chris. You're strong, and smart, and brave-"_

"_And neurotic?" he offered. Piper smiled. _

"_That too" Chris let out a small laugh. Piper's eyes lit up._

"_What-what was that? Was that a smile? I didn't think it was possible." Chris smiled again and Piper patted him on the back. "You're going to do this, Chris. I promise you. If you need me to vanquish every demon in the damn book to do it I will..." The two sat there in silence for a while until the baby monitor went off. "I gotta go check on Wyatt. You stay up here and work on whatever it I that you're working on and when you're finished I want you to use your wiccan ways and come up with a spell to fix my table got it?" she told him. Chris chuckled. _

"_Got it, Mom" He said as clear crystal. His face went white and his hands started shaking. Refusing to look at Piper he watched his feet. Oh God what was he going to do? She wasn't saying anything that wasn't good, that's not good at all. _

"_Ha-ha… very funny. You know I try to help and the thanks I get is sarcasm. Well that's the last time I try to comfort you" she said. Chris looked up and saw a playful smile on her lips. She thought he was being sarcastic? This was probably the luckiest moment in his life. He decided to play along. _

"_Yea…well you know me…" he looked down at the plate of cookies. "Hey, Piper you left your cookies." _

"_No, those are for you. I thought you might need some comfort food." She said. _

"_Thanks"_

**_End Flashback Chris' POV_**

I could use some comfort food right now. If only I had some money…or a kitchen. At the moment I don't have anything. I doubt that Mom will let me stay at the club anymore and if I show my face at home I'm likely to be blown up. Not that the Manor is really home to me anymore anyway. I thought it was. After I moved out I always found myself wanting that feeling of home, the place where you felt safe and loved. But it never came.

I had a place to live, but I always felt as if I were missing something, until I met Bianca. With her I felt like I was home. I thought when I left her that I would still have that feeling with my family. But I don't. I feel like a guest in my house, which I am, an unwelcome one at that. I keep thinking that if they only knew who I was then everything would be different. I would be loved again, excepted. But would I be living a lie?

Did I really expect them to forget everything I have done to them in the past year just because the tiny fact that I'm family? It's unfair of me to think that. I want them to love me. But I don't want them to lie to me. I don't want them to change their opinion about me instantly. That would hurt more than knowing that they hate me. Because it would prove what I've been afraid of my whole life, that they only love me because they have to. I would rather live with their distrust and dislike than with that knowledge.

"Good place to think isn't it?" I heard my father's voice call out to me. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't even notice his orbs or his presence. I can't deal with this right now. I can't deal with him. I don't need a lecture. I feel guilty enough already.

"What do you want?"

"Just to talk, you know Chris, trust is a precious commodity. Once you lose it, it's pretty hard to get it back." And I really don't' need a cliché Leo speech. I heard that speech almost everyday going up. I'd often found myself wondering where the hell it was that he found his most precious trust line. Did he hear it from his father? Or did he find it somewhere completely ridiculous and thought that people would actually listen to him when he said it?

"Where'd you read that out of a fortune cookie?" Maybe I said that a little cockier than I meant it.

"Don't be a smart ass it doesn't help your cause."

My cause… the one thing that I haven't thought about the whole time I've been sitting up here sulking. I've been sitting here being completely selfish only thinking about myself and my miserable life and I completely forgot about all the people whose lives are in my hands. What am I going to do? I need their help to do this. I can't do it alone. But I can't fail either. I have to save all those people. I have to save Bianca… I have to save my brother. I would give anything to have him back.

"My cause? Pretty much screwed that up don't you think?"

"I don't know" He said in a tone that confused me. He wasn't mad…he wasn't condescending. He was actually giving me another chance. I know my father. These don't come around very often. I expected him to tell me that I was a screw up and he was sending me back to the future or was going to clip my wings but…he wasn't. Hope filled up inside of me.

"Are you saying you still trust me?"

"It's not my trust that matter's it's the sisters." Considering the circumstances he was right. I needed them to help not him. But he had no idea how much his trust actually did matter to me.

"I know…So what do I do?"

"Just be straight with them, that's all. Don't manipulate them…And for what's it's worth, yes, I _do _trust you. After all you saved my son from turning evil didn't you?"

"For now"

Leo orbed away leaving me to stare at the spot where he once stood. He actually trusted me. For the first time I could remember I felt like he had faith in me. And he didn't even know who I was. I spent so many years trying to get his approval and trust and I finally have it. And I'm faced with a familiar feeling.

The feeling of resolve that was given to me with a plate of my mother's cookies.


End file.
